Improve your diction and syntax in three easy steps!

  1. Cocaine
  2. Tylenol PM
  3. Alcohol

Helpful information:


There are so many things wonderfully wrong with this website.  I’m going to ignore the fact that participating in D.A.R.E. programs, at least among suburban children, actually leads to increased drug use.

I am not, however, going to ignore the suggestion that parents “check out their [kid’s] MySpace page or their instant-messenger conversations.”  Nothing like a little bit of estalking to maintain trust and respect in the household.  Though, to be fair, this is most likely an empty threat, as most parents do not have the wherewithal to actually check IM conversations (at least not parents in 2007 when the bit was written).

You might be surprised, but I do actually think there is a problem with kids/young adults doing drugs.  According to my doctor, the brain develops rapidly during youth, so altering it can have large, unpredictable effects.  Based on that, limiting drug use as an adolescent seems sensible.  Even with less harmful drugs, such as marijuana, I always recommend moderation if you plan to partake.  So I get the general idea of drug use prevention, even if, in practice, it is nonsensical and worthless.  What I don’t get is this sentence: “A new study from the Caron Treatment Centers analyzed more than 10 million online messages written by teens and found a number of conversations about drinking, taking drugs, and having sex.”  This annoys me, since alcohol is a drug, so unless they are talking about other beverages, there is redundancy.  It baffles me that “sex” is being mentioned at all.  Since when are meth use and sex on the same level?  “Not only was little Johnnie smoking crack, but there was a condom in the trashcan!”  There is no need for sex to be a “problem.”  Everyone gets tested for STD, at least one form of birth control is used, and ta-da!  No problems.

“Often, newer slang for drugs was used to avoid raising red flags among suspicious parents.”  Or, how about, newer slang was used because language isn’t static but rather reflects a moment in time?  I’m pretty sure that it would be obvious in context, regardless of slang used.  Either that, or it would be conspicuous gibberish and worry parents regardless.

By far, my favorite part of the article is this:

But bad information on drugs abounds online. Lucky O’Donnell, a 19-year-old from New York, landed in a hospital emergency room after getting some poor advice about mixing cocaine with Tylenol PM and alcohol. “One site said it was fine, one site said it wasn’t,” O’Donnell said. “I wasn’t able to differentiate the information. You want to believe everything you read.”

You know it’s going to be a great story as soon as you get to the aptronym “Lucky.”  Then you read what the “kid” took: cocaine, Tylenol PM, and alcohol.  Ok, cocaine and alcohol is unsurprising, that seems a plausible party/club scenario, even if you are mixing uppers and downers.  But Tylenol PM?  Why would you take a stimulant (cocaine) and then try to go to sleep?  “You know, I was going to ride out the high of increased energy and euphoria, but screw it, I’ll just take some sleep inducing meds.”  If nothing else, it’s a waste of whatever you paid for the cocaine.  How did Lucky even make it to the emergency room?  The alcohol and Tylenol PM would have had him asleep in no time, who noticed the liver failure?  What kind of 19-year-0ld is using “differentiate” as casually as he/she is mixing drugs?  And I don’t know about you, but if one site says it’s a bad idea to mix the drugs, and the other says go for it, I’m going to err on the safe side and go with the one telling me not to mix.  It’s really not that difficult to just do one drug at at time.

Published in: on 26 June 2011 at 7:09 pm  Leave a Comment  
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